A Wedding; the Teacher
Last weekend I was lucky enough to leave the biting cold 6 degree weather of New Zealand and escape across the oceans to the blissful 26 degrees of the Gold Coast of Australia. The reason for this was to celebrate my cousin's wedding to his stunning long-time girlfriend and childhood sweetheart. I adore weddings, they celebrate the most important things in life.
At the wedding, looking at all the happy faces surrounding me, I realised that there are so many things we can learn from this most special of days.
As I flew back to New Zealand on Sunday, just before falling asleep, I compiled a list of some pretty cheesy but true thoughts.
1. Love
A wedding at it's simplest, is a celebration of two people in love. Yet it brings love out of everyone. Each person has sparkles in their eyes. Seeing two people commit to each for the rest of your life makes you nostalgic. It makes you think of past love, present love and future love. It makes you realise who your heart beats for. It makes you so thankful. It makes your heart swell extraordinarily big. For family, for friends, for those people who refuse to leave your life.
There are so many things you can want in life - a great job, that new dress, the latest pair of fancy shoes, a big house, a jet plane - but without love? Well the world is empty. Because love, is everything. Your heart can't beat without it.
Also, gay marriage is not yet legal in Australia, and I found it so touching that the celebrant mentioned this and that the couple wanted to acknowledge that love deserved to be recognised everywhere.
Just tell the people you love that you love them, it's easy really.
2. Dance like no one is watching
I am a firm believer in the happiness power of a good shake-it-off, laugh-it-off dance. Reserve your dance moves, not just for a Saturday night, but every day. Every morning really you should jive out in the shower, boogie your way through breakfast and spin out of the door and into the day's embrace.
And obviously weddings are a great place for the dance moves to come out. I was sitting at the bench and I looked up to the not-so-empty space where two bodies moved and grooved, twirled and swirled round each other. They must have been in their mid-age years and were the only people serenading the lone guitarist. But they danced and danced and looked into each other's eyes and had the time of their lives. Happiness in a single sequence.
3. Some people are worth traveling the world for
Isn't it amazing how you can live miles apart from someone and yet they still mean everything? Well the groom's best man traveled all the way from Canada for this event and I think that's pretty damn cool. My parents took leave and I missed uni (easy choice for me there though) to travel over too.
Just because distance may separate you, most of the time it makes the bonds stronger - it shows to each other that yes you may live far away, but you're willing to put in the effort to stay in each other's lives, to be there for each other's special moments.
Like my best friend Grace - we've lived in different places since year 9 - but her simple messages mean the world and she still manages to celebrate special moments with me.
4. Eat, drink, laugh, be merry
I came across to this wedding with the thought of my first big test and a billion assignments and thousands of pages of readings, looming in the next week. And I also knew absolutely no study would get done. My dad came across to this wedding with the stresses of work life on his shoulders. Most of the other wedding attendees would also have many things going on that they put on hold for this weekend.
But you know what, you should never let stress bring you down. Stress does nothing but make you miserable and a horrible person to be around. Things will get done eventually - I mean I got back and still studied and did my test (hopefully it was a success haha).
It's so so important, to let go of the heavy stuff, every thing will be okay. Instead let the little ordinary things bring magic into your life. And have fun! Be light with your life, be merry, lift your spirits to the sky.
5. Family is everything, and it's always good to make your family massive
You wouldn't be who you are without your family. Your family are the ones who have been there from the start, the ones who will be there till the end. Family love is unconditional. Family sees the worst of you and doesn't even blink. Instead they buy you an ice cream.
Weddings bring family together. But they shouldn't be the only moments when you make time for these extraordinary people. Family is everything. So make sure you put in every effort to see them and talk to them and adventure with them. It's too easy to take family for granted, be thankful, always.
And of course, family is not just blood. It's always a good idea to expand your family. Friends are everything too.
6. Time goes crazy fast
The last time I was in Australia was 8 years ago, for another wedding. I was young and innocent and wore a pink floaty dress. Now I've left home, I study and work and I've developed into me. And that's how long it's been since I've seen several of my family! And it's almost June, the middle of the year already! Where even does time go?!
Realising how fast the days go is important. Because it reminds you to make the most of each and every day. Let no day pass where you haven't done something that makes you happy. Artist Dallas Clayton, recommends we write two lists. The first list is what you do every day, your schedule. The second list is what makes you happy. Then compare the lists and adjust accordingly.
It also reminds us to make the most of the people in your life. Let no time pass where you haven't asked someone how they are, or told them you loved them. It's a grim thought, but you never know how many days are left for any of us.
7. Put your damn phone down!
The wedding was held in this beautiful place called Midginbil Hill. And there was no phone reception. It may have made logistics a little more difficult, but we all got where we needed to be. And unlike every other social occasion I've been too, where people slowly hunch over their phones, people looked up at each other and laughed and talked and relaxed. Phones were only used to capture the moment. Every single person was there. Right there. In that moment.
It was pretty cool.
You've got to ask what's the point of scrolling Facebook really anyway? I think of all the hours where I've wasted on nothing. When instead I could have been drawing or writing or walking outside or baking or doing something that is actually exciting and life changing.
8. When things go wrong, people look for the positives
If only we could do this every day. The wedding was held outdoors. And outdoors, well there was mud and there were heavy broody clouds, and there was rain. But you know what, that didn't get anyone down, it only made people smile brighter. As we waited for the bride, huddled under umbrellas at the ceremony area, people kept saying "at least it's not windy...at least I brought my coat...at least we have an umbrella."
People weren't dwelling on what was going wrong, rather they looked for the simple good things. This meant the air was full of happy bliss.
9. It's never to late to meet new people and it's good to talk to strangers
At this wedding, I knew a total of seven people. And there were over 100 others who I had never seen before in my life. But that's 100 people with exciting stories of epic adventures and life lessons to find out. And even though by the end of the reception, I had no voice (taken over by a cold), I could at least listen and nod. I talked to the photographer and discovered he had trained as a nurse in the army and got some sweet photography advice. I discovered the people opposite me had parents who lived down the road from me in Christchurch who I had once helped with gardening.
Every day you pass thousands of faces. And behind every face is a multitude of memories and hopes and dreams. Next time you see someone who looks pretty cool, say hello, ask them what their passion is, ask them their life story. Why not? It may be scary, they may not be interested, but you could meet your new best friend, make a connection that adds another layer to your life.
10. We should make people feel like a bride everyday
The bride looked absolutely stunning. The mother of the groom looked like a total babe. My mother was beautiful. The bridesmaids were all gorgeous. The dudes of the day all looked pretty good. But let's change that past tense, to present. Because the bride is stunning everyday, as is my aunt, my mum and so forth.
It's amazing how lovely and heart-warming it can be to receive a simple compliment. And it's so easy to give one. Make every one in your life feel as beautiful as they are, in the little moments, not just the significant ones. Especially let them know how baben they are with messy hair and toothpaste round their mouth.
11. The Importance of Eating Cake
There is food that is great for the body. And then there is food, such as cake, which is wonderful for the soul. Make sure you get your good dose of soul food.
Photo cred: Jamie Oliver (the wedding cake was eaten up too fast for me to get a good pic!)