Putting on Your Own Sunscreen: Part 5

Main Character Energy

This week, I had some very excellent news.

A visa, which took forever to obtain, was finally, happily, gratefully, obtained.

I went to the embassy in London for a 2pm appointment on Wednesday.

Far far too keen for that date though, I was forty-five minutes early, and so I strolled through the autumnal-coloured gardens nearby, thinking about life.

The wind was twirling my hair around invisible fingers. Headphones on, insulating my ears, I was trying to stay positive.

I was shitting myself though (metaphorically, of course).

**Tunes listened to included a Sam Classic ‘Takeover’ by Lee Mvthews and ‘You Get What You Give’ by the New Radicals.

Finally, sitting inside this gorgeously opulent building, I waited. And waited and waited for my number to be called.

I was internally screaming, but externally I relaxed into the chair, trying to exude a chill and calm attitude. Like a cooool cucumber.

When I submitted my visa application the week before, the clerk said in an ominously deadpan voice, “Your visa application may or may not be accepted. Cross your fingers.”

The week before I lost my job as an Au Pair…because I lost the child.

I can laugh about it now (can I 🥴???) because the child was luckily, thankfully just fine. He’d walked home.

Without letting me know.

Buuut that was the end of my Au Pair career.

I promise my dear readers, I am not a negligent Au Pair… I am a child whisperer really but I just got unlucky, oops.

Sitting in the embassy, thinking about the past few months though, I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if I’d been denied the visa… So I was naturally on edge. But if that happened to be the case, it would’ve just been another chapter for the book right?

The counter dings, it’s my time.

Heart in throat, I stand up, forcing myself into a bold, shoulders back, head up strong-looking posture, and I walk to the counter.

“I’m here for my visa", I say, attempting to express the same confidence that a tall, dark, handsome Italian man with espresso on his breath has.

My passport is handed over to me, and there, stuck on page four is my visa, featuring the smiling face of a tired-two-months-into-being-an-au-pair-me.

I wanted to whoop with joy.

But I reign in my excitement. I didn’t want to freak out the staff and have them recall my visa haha.

As I walked out, I messaged everyone.

I’d spent the week previous, asking most of my family and friends to cross their fingers, and their toes, and any other flexible, dexterous limbs, for me.

And thank goodness they did because she is going to be a ski instructor babyyyyyyy!

Lil six-year-old Sam who threw a tiny tantrum every time she fell over on the ski field is STOKED.

Unfortunately, most of my best friends were asleep when I got this exciting news. It was 2.30 am back in New Zealand.

So, I took myself on a little adventure to find some cake!

And boy, did I find some delicious cake… Apricot, blueberry and poppyseed ricotta cheesecake. I messaged photos to my cheesecake fan Dad.

As this year has muddled on, the more I’ve realised just how important it is to live your life with that main character energy.

It may sound silly but you really have to be the icon of your own life.

You’ve got to lust over your dreams, passions and desires.

And be your own biggest cheerleader.

!!! Romanticise your life baby !!!

If you think about all the awe-inspiring stories, the big blockbuster hits, the ancient myths and scriptures, the heroes ALWAYS get lonely.

In climbing up the mountain, you’ve got to sweat and fall and scrape your knees, cry and sob and gasp, swear under your breath, and swear out loud as you stub your toe, because, after all of that, you’ll find yourself looking out over the most miraculous view.

If things were easy, they’d simply be boring.

And the hard stuff, the stuff that goes wrong, those times where you fucked up, well, they’ll usually make for hilarious stories you will one day look back on and laugh about (hopefully).

Those spontaneous, last-minute main character energy decisions are always a catalyst for the most beautiful memories.

Last month, I decided to go to a music festival by myself, buying a ticket the day of. I may have lost my sunglasses (again 🥴) but three gorgeous new friends were made ✨✨

Being bold, being yourself, really helps with growing that self-confidence, self-respect and loyalty to yourself too.

I will always choose to wear the bright blue sparkly, oops-too-short-for-my-long-legs dress, paired with my white cowgirl boots to filthy drum and bass festivals.

And why would you not talk to strangers on the tube, sharing travelling misadventures as you lug 25kgs of your life down some stairs and into the next chapter? It’s nice to share a chuckle with a stranger.

Get weird. Get silly.

Whenever you have the chance, play music out loud and sing and dance. Sway! Those! Hips!

My favourite thing to do these days is to bring more LAUGHTER into my world. When things go wrong, C’est !! La !! Vie !!

I put on Solitario Surfista and dance around the kitchen.

Life doesn’t always have to be such a serious thing.

The older I get, the more I realise that none of us really know what we’re doing. Most of us are just trying our best. And everyone is too busy worrying about themselves to really spend time worrying about or judging you.

So you might as well get silly.

And live for yourself.

I’m hoping to be the silly sexy nonsense I want to see in the world.

And I’m aiming to live my life by collecting as many stories as possible.

I can’t wait to tell my grand-babies one day that I had pink hair, flashed my lover (his family, security, and at least 30 other people) my boobs at Christchurch International Airport, got kicked out of a hostel, spent two hours on a bus chatting to a Mongolian woman sharing photos of our families, friends and homes, swam every evening at 9 pm by myself in the Cornwall sea, woke up the neighbours because of my ringing bells (IYKYK), AND that I was a lil ski bum, and I lived in lots and lots of different places and learned as much as I possibly could about this world and myself, and I made people feel loved, and I made them laugh (if anything by sharing these silly lil stories of my miraculous life).

I’m just happy to be here ae. Just happy to be alive. And laughing through the chaos. I’m sure there are so many more stories to come.