Putting on Your Own Sunscreen: Part 6

Collecting stories via a gap year of too much (goodness)

Do you ever just get sick of your own bullshit sometimes?

I think biology fucked up when it came to humans. The end game is to survive right, to make babies and ensure our genes survive and thus the human race continues on and thrives.

But we really can be our own worst enemies right? We sure do make it hard for ourselves to survive and thrive.

I’m a big believer that we have two choices. We can be either our own best friend or our own worst enemy.

Now this year, on my little solo travelling adventure, I’ve spent a lot of time on my own. With only me, myself and all those little voices in my head.

It’s been tough. But, I had that choice… I could either grab my own hand and run wild or give up and go home.

And so here we are, still thousands of miles away from cruisy, comfortable, gorgeous New Zealand, living as best as I can.

I never seem to pick the easy option… I seem to always choose a challenge. To choose the path less trodden.

Relentlessly optimistic?

Crazy?

Probably both.

But at least I’m not boring, right? 🥴😂

When you look back, the tough times were when you exponentially grew.

The good times are for relaxing in peace and bliss.

As human feeling beings we always tend to complicate things.

We consistently make life so serious and so messy.

But I truly believe, it doesn’t have to be so complicated.

You’ve got to keep perspective and remember the grand scheme of things - that being alive is a miraculous privilege.

I’ve spent this year feeling in an almost constant flux of fight or flight.

Worrying what others are thinking about me and my life decisions. Doubting myself.

But fark that.

I am so tired of my own bullshit.

Man, the grass is ALWAYS greener.

Yes, of course, I’ve made mistakes. But you cannot dwell on the past. You cannot change the past. All you can do is move on, move forward and learn from those mistakes. Growing closer into the person you want to become.

And you’re allowed to change. In fact, I’d be worried if you weren’t changing. Shed those skins of the former you, put on that dream coat of yours, and keep moving forward.

The times that I regret the most are the ones when I ended up being stuck in my head, listening to my bruised complaining ego, complicating something that was actually quite simple. If I got out of my head, and into the moment, delighting in its magic, I would’ve been the best version of myself. I’d have fewer regrets.

So, I’m learning from my mistakes and uncomplicating how I live my life. Sometimes we really do just need to have faith in the universe and chill out.

Friends used to joke I was like Hydra.

Now Hydra, if you don’t know, is a Greek Monster with multiple heads. When you cut her down, she just grows back.

Stronger.

I like this Hydra energy.

(I most definitely feel like Hydra when I wake up in the morning with terrible hair all over the place 🥴)

I read this lovely little quote the other day… It was to do with feeling like I’m TOO MUCH.

I’ve worried over the years that I’m a bit too much…

BUT too much… Isn’t too much the champagne shower as you dance in the middle of a ski field? The last french fry in the bottom of the bag? The fireworks? The huge release of serotonin when the drop hits? The double-scooped ice cream on a hot summer’s day? The olive in the classic martini? The band moving off stage only to run back on and perform that unforgettable encore? The live performance, not just the DJ set? The three times text of exciting news? The get home safe text? The love letter?

My first love wrote in my high school yearbook that I had the biggest heart out there and to never change.

So here I am, forever aiming to be a sunbeam.

Samantha Ann Mythen is full on. She feels deeply, she feels passionately. She’s a determined lil human bean. She is extremely clumsy but she is learning, constantly. She’s most definitely mad crazy.

But maybe, she’s also a breath of fresh air.

So this is your reminder to both myself and to you: un-complicate your own heart.

Shift your energy.

And believe in yourself.

When shit hits the fan - C’est la vie baby. Así es la vida. Just have fuuuuuun. Be silly, honest, and kind. Laugh through the chaos.

The people who are meant to stick around in your lives will. It’s as simple as that. Your friends, family, and soulmates will love every single version of you - even the I’m-still-learning, crazy parts. You should never have to question this.

Sometimes when I’m struggling, I like to imagine myself laughing over a bottle of wine with my best friend when we’re in our 80s… Will I be giggling with them over the mistakes and struggles of my 20s, thinking “those were the days”? Most likely, duck yes hahah

When I think with a bigger perspective, it’s easier to let things go. Things don’t always have to be such a big deal.

Instead, every day I’m choosing to trust and have faith in the universe.

For when I shift my energy, my focus, it’s been a wildly good year.

And I wanted to share some of the good with you, some of the things I’ve seen and done.

• I went to Corfu in June and stayed for a night in this super cheap “Women’s Only Dorm,” was how it was advertised on Booking.com. The reviews were good so I thought, why not! My plane touched down on the island, very delayed. Around 1.30am.

  It was lucky I even made it to the plane though as turns out when you fly from Gatwick Airport you can only have a single clear see-through bag of liquids. I had two and the security woman was NOT happy when I muttered under my breath a small profanity and so threatened to get someone to escort me out of the building in the opposite direction of my boarding plane…

  Arriving that late meant Corfu was still asleep in darkness. A taxi took me 10 minutes into Old Town. Nestled right in the centre of the historic town, I found my accommodation. A tall rickety-looking wooden building patched together with concrete and jungle greenery holding it all up. My key was in a little mint box taped to the door. A single bed, a room to myself. It felt like I had the whole building to myself. I collapsed onto the pastel pink sheet and hoped I wouldn’t be abducted in the night.

  I woke up to sunlight streaming through the windows, dancing with the dust drifting around on the soft breeze.

  A blanket of warmth was wrapped around me all day, beads of sweat a new piece of jewellery. I wandered the streets of Corfu. Being able to see it all in daylight was exactly like opening your eyes after a long little snooze. I spent an afternoon with my toes dipped in the ocean as my hands dipped in and out a bag of chips as I read in the sunshine.

• One of the best things about travelling is seeing all the things you’ve always dreamed about RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU. Pompeii was like this for me.

  In the scathing sun, my friends and I sweated our way through the well-preserved ruins. Mount Vesuvius mysteriously watched, with a smouldering look, over all the tourists surveying a town it eradicated centuries ago.

  Another little treat from that weekend spent with one of my dearest soul sisters and her family in Vico, was the gorgeous sunset view we shared from the rooftop of our short-term home. It’s one of the best things in the world, seeing the sun sink into the ocean’s arms, golden-coloured ink blotching the darkening sky in a blaze of brightness.

  We feasted on fallen oranges from a nearby neighbour’s orange tree. Further oranges sweetened the sangria we drank each night, an endless supply fuelled by the biggest bottle of red wine I’ve ever seen.

  We also cleared out a lil restaurant in the village, where after about 5 metres of pizza consumption, we started heartily singing songs. There’s no better feeling than becoming incredibly intoxicated just from the joy of sweet company, life-changing food (and a few bottles of wine).

  This entire trip was tinted with sunset colours.

• I like to suffer and so, in the famous Barcelona Mercado de La Boqueria, dared on by a fellow kiwi, I tried a free tester of hot sauce, dunking it in a piece of ciabatta. Chaos ensued as my entire body was set on fire. Luckily the stall next door sold mango and coconut ice blocks.

• Over the weekend just past, I took three gorgeous new friends to their first-ever Drum and Bass gig at the famous London venue, Printworks. Thirty-thousand steps from 2pm to 11pm, the perfect reminder that dancing is the best cure for any worries.

In life, it’s hard to accept but, you can’t control how other people react or feel to life decisions you make and actions you take.

But you can control how you react. You get to choose where you put your focus.

It’s simple. Instead of thinking, what if this is going to be a disaster? Think, what if this is going to be the best damn decision I’ve ever made.

You can constantly be worried in life. OR you can look for the good, and focus on the joy. Turn the anxiety into excitement about what’s going to come next.

So keep collecting those stories.

Keep being a bit too much.

You are here on this earth to simply enjoy yourself.

So stop doubting yourself.